September 18 , 1862
I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m terrified I don’t know what to do at this point. This is my very first battle it was called “ Battle of Shiloh”. One of the most bloodiest battle. Mom this is not how I expected it to be, people dying right in front of my eyes. I sit and watch them bleed to death because i’m standing there stuck, somewhat traumatized. Watching their souls slowly creep out there bloody body and vanish into thin air. When we arrived to the gettysburg battlefield we were getting attacked left and right. My heart is racing a thousand miles per minute. Everyday i sit and pray my life don’t get taken. It’s hard out here, words can’t explain the daily struggles I go through. The food is nasty , it’s nothing like yours. I barely can sleep. I sit and play flashbacks in my head of every person i saw get shot right in front of my eyes.
Ill make it home as soon as i can because I can’t do this anymore. I’ve been away from you and the whole family for too long. Im guessing you told dad I was in here because I gotten a letter from him. Crazy right , he’s the last person i’d expect a letter from. He was just saying how he’s proud of me and how much he loves me. At the end he said that he has stage 3 lung cancer and he’s not doing to good. I’m not sure if I want to go and see him when i’m out. I still play back the day he left us and ever came back. I haven’t heard from him in over 8 years and out of the blue he writes me. I have to go mom i’ll write you the next chance I get I love you lots and say a prayer for me before you go to sleep.